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In reality, though, the issue of online cheating is more complex—especially when it concerns sexual activities involving actual interaction with other individuals.People, consciously or not, consider their online sexual relationships as real—they experience psychological states similar to those typically elicited by offline relationships.

In his stimulating paper, "Chatting Is Not Cheating," John Portmann defends online lust and characterizes about sex; he maintains that such talking is more similar to flirting than to having a sexual affair.Accordingly, cybersex is about sex, but a form of sexual encounter involves experiences typical of other encounters, such as sexual arousal, masturbation, orgasm, and satisfaction.Indeed, people consider cybersex to have a high degree of psychological reality—but many do not consider it to be consider it to be infidelity.Whereas people having online affairs tend to understate their problematic nature, their offline partners typically do not see difference between online and offline affairs: A lack of direct physical contact and face-to-face meetings does not diminish the sense of a violation of their vow of exclusivity.The fact that most of these affairs are concealed from offline spouses is indicative of the possible harm.

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